martinwD9387UG
Business · November 20252/10
1 out of 5 — only because TripAdvisor won’t let me give zero.
If you’re thinking of staying at The Crown Hotel, do yourself a favour: don’t. Run. Flee. Fake your own disappearance if you must. I spen...1 out of 5 — only because TripAdvisor won’t let me give zero.
If you’re thinking of staying at The Crown Hotel, do yourself a favour: don’t. Run. Flee. Fake your own disappearance if you must. I spent three months there with a group of up to fifteen colleagues, and by the end we were all questioning our life choices, our sanity, and whether we’d accidentally wandered onto a hidden-camera show.
At first glance, the hotel looks lovely — the kind of place that makes you think, “Ah, this will be nice.”
Look closer. No, closer. Closer.
That’s when the cracks appear… quite literally.
Cleanliness: or whatever the opposite is.
Trays of dirty dishes decorated the corridors like modern art installations. They sat there so long that we started giving them names. Some of them celebrated birthdays.
Sections of the hotel clearly hadn’t seen a mop, cloth or hoover since the Queen’s coronation. Not the recent one. The other one.
Even the rooms had their own special charm: TVs that didn’t work, lights that flickered like we were in a horror film, and internet so slow I’m convinced it was powered by a hamster with commitment issues.
Breakfast was another adventure.
We had to leave for work at 6:15am. Breakfast opened at 6am.
In theory.
Some mornings were fine — decent food and actual staff. Other mornings? Nothing. Late opening, cold food, no staff in sight. It was like playing “Will There Be Breakfast?” every single day.
Evening meals were an endurance test.
After a 12-hour shift all we wanted was a meal. Instead, we faced service so slow we started ageing at the table. One night we waited three hours — long enough for us to wonder if they were foraging for ingredients. Other nights the staff were so rude that walking out felt like the polite option.
Here’s the funniest part: every time we complained, the next night was brilliant.
One night only.
Then straight back to chaos. It was like the hotel had a “pretend to be professional” button that needed a long cooldown.
Eventually, after everyone had complained and nothing really changed, we did the sensible thing and left. We moved to accommodation that actually understood hospitality — like cleaning rooms, serving food on time, and speaking to guests without snarling.
Final verdict: save yourself the stress, the disappointment, and the emotional trauma. I would strongly recommend that you do not stay here.
I’m giving it 1 star only because I can’t give zero. If negative stars existed, I’d need a calculator.Show More
