kirker
Friends Getaway · August 20254/10
I've encountered a few Four Seasons properties that were notably "off," for lack of a better term, but their still-quite-new New Orleans hotel is unusually so – the odd part being that it seems this ...I've encountered a few Four Seasons properties that were notably "off," for lack of a better term, but their still-quite-new New Orleans hotel is unusually so – the odd part being that it seems this way despite having had such a clearly lavish renovation. As a former professional hotel reviewer, an immediate red flag to me has always been any given Four Seasons not ranked in a city's top 20 – particularly outside of major global capitals.
This is the first I've ever seen, however, that's only barely among the top FIFTY PERCENT. But now that I've seen it in person – including four separate guest rooms/suites on two separate trips – I think I get why.
First, it's not like Four Seasons lacks experience in terms of massive tourist destinations: it's had a property in Vegas for 20+ years now. The difference, however, is that its Vegas hotel is a respite of sorts: only around 400 rooms ensconced inside the mammoth Mandalay Bay's 5,000 or so. In New Orleans, it's entirely a Four Seasons (including residences), and while I know better than to expect seclusion near the French Quarter, its lobby is reminiscent of Grand Central Terminal!
The much more concerning problem, however – and I imagine one of the ones prompting guests to balk at its Windsor Court-level nightly rates, given that it's long been the city's best five-star property – is its location. I know it's landmarked (the former ITM tower), but it's also a fantastic example of a truly hideous, Brutalist-style edifice that's "historic" only as a remnant of a dismal period in urban architecture. (Also, describing a 1960s building as "historic" in one of the literal oldest cities in the US – now well over 300 years old – is itself a bit problematic.) It has zero exterior visual appeal, and while most of New Orleans' more modern towers aren't exactly aesthetically pleasing, it's unusual to see a Four Seasons in one that's flat-out ugly. (Its OG property in Toronto was fully Brutalist, but Four Seasons wisely unloaded it and relocated its flagship into a modern 55-story tower in the early 2010s.)
But the true dealbreaker, at least for me – and a stunningly large error in judgment, considering no one appears to have considered its realities prior to choosing to retrofit the building as a five-star hotel – was opening one with a *literal* train passing directly underneath it throughout the day & night. Worse still, they blare their horns most, if not all, of the time. The noise is at least less bad on higher floors, but I could plainly hear it throughout the hotel. While the property has added white noise machines & offers earplugs & whatnot, there's only so much noise those things can suppress, and I could still audibly hear the train even with every noise-suppression means available.
Aside from the too-packed lobby, I can't fault the interiors, but despite its admitted proximity to both the Quarter & CBD, I can't recommend this property except to people fortunate enough to be able to sleep through nearly any type of disturbance. A Four Seasons is very obviously supposed to be special, and most truly are. This one's not, and *absolutely* not as one of the city's priciest hotels: they should've followed the lead of Ritz-Carlton in choosing a building to revamp, which opened a New Orleans branch 25 years ago in the iconic Maison Blanche building on Canal. (To be fair, I'd argue it's been poorly managed as well – and it's long overdue for an interior revamp – but I think that's true of the entire chain versus Four Seasons.)
If you want a super-deluxe five-star near the Quarter, the Windsor Court has been the best option for decades, and remains so today. If you want deluxe *and* small & secluded – but still inside the Quarter – I'd head straight to the Audubon Cottages without passing Go. (They only have seven total rooms, all of which are suites, so I'd advise booking early.) But if you want Vegas-level crowds, a notably subpar service caliber, and loud trains passing next to the lobby at all hours, this is the place for it.
But I suspect most people prefer five-stars where they can actually sleep through the night without disturbance. I'd only return if the hotel's management understands that cheap white noise machines & foam earplugs are a borderline-farcical fix for its noise problem, and that physical remediation of the building – installing bona fide sound absorption measures such as triple-paned windows (which, yes, will cost many millions) – is the only true fix.Show More
