christianeT8631XR
Couples · November 20252/10
I’ve never felt compelled to write a damming review for any place I’ve stayed. But to not warn anyone else about the Dilly, would be nothing short of a crime.
The one redeeming quality amongst the ci...I’ve never felt compelled to write a damming review for any place I’ve stayed. But to not warn anyone else about the Dilly, would be nothing short of a crime.
The one redeeming quality amongst the circus, was the duty manager, for the professionalism and empathy she displayed was far beyond what the establishment deserved.
Let’s start with the price. £450, for a single night in a standard double room. Looks good from the pictures right? Hahaha. Scandinavian prison cells are more idyllic. Clean? Oh yea, so long as you clean it yourself. We arrived to a room with no WiFi, no signal, no window, a threadbare carpet, a filthy bathtub with damaged ceramic, a coffee machine which didn’t work, and a single cuck chair that had been smashed more times than a screen door in a hurricane.
After apologising to my partner for dragging her away from a comfy night at our friends house on an air mattress, I reminded her that we still had access to the bar, restaurant, swimming pool, gym, health spa and room service. I went down to the front desk to complain, and they reluctantly gave us a ‘superior double’. If only I could go back in time and decline, for it should have been labelled the ‘inferior double.’
At first, all seemed well. We had a window this time and a working coffee machine. Having made a brew and after spending 10 minutes in the room, my partner and I suddenly realised we had been enlisted as NSA agents. We could hear the intricacies of every conversation that occurred in the corridor, and everything in the neighbouring rooms. Nothing was left to the imagination, for nothing had been sound proofed and there was a large gap beneath our main door.
Then, the cast of A Bugs Life two appeared. There were at least a dozen hungry moths sharing the room with us. Reluctant to make another complaint, we simply left our clothes in the bags and committed ourselves to sleeping, knowing we could enjoy the facilities after breakfast.
We made our way down for our £50 breakfast at roughly 9am. Superficially, the orangery seemed spectacular. However, we quickly realised that breakfast was a sham. The hot food was completely depleted and what was left had been dried to a crisp. Breakfast didn’t close until at least 11am, so I’m not sure what lay in store for other guests. Perhaps some sad looking croissants and pots of yoghurt?
We then decided to retire to our room and take a shower, before heading down to the spa. What a mistake. Having climbed into the bath-shower and turned it on, I noticed the nozzle was facing towards the floor. I attempted to move it, and in return it fell and landed on my face.
To see what all the commotion was about, my partner then stepped into the bathroom to both use the toilet and taunt me for my stupidity. Her laughter came to an abrupt halt, followed by a “Oh my god.” The door handle had sheered off completely. Trying to prevent the panic from setting in, I reminded her that we still had the lock attached to the door. This then also proceeded to comically fall off in my hand.
We were now trapped. Over the course of 15 minutes we relentlessly tried to prise the door off, without first creating further damage. My partner then realised she had left her mobile phone in the pocket of her dungarees. Relieved, we called reception. 20 minutes later, someone answered.
Having alerted them to our predicament, it took them a further 10 minutes to gather maintenance and proceed to our room. Finally, maintenance and the duty manager opened the door, and I emerged from the room like a bloody prize on a quiz show. For £100, a man dressed like a Roman noble!
I told them I would call by at reception, once dressed. When I arrived, insult was added to injury. “Would you like 20% of your next stay…?” The Duty Manager asked. I proceed to describe the events of our stay, at length.
We left with a full refund.
Duty Manager, if you’re reading this, just know you deserve to be employed by a place that matches your calibre.Show More
